It has been a crazy last few weeks. I got a new calling (job) at church. It's a very busy one... at least in the beginning, just trying to get everything together and organized. So I've been focusing a lot on that and not on getting ready for the baby to come. Last week I went to my weekly checkup and there was no progression at all! I was glad though, because last week was absolutely crazy for me and needed to just get through the week before I had the baby. He mentioned possibly inducing me, due to the fact I had big babies. I went to my appt today, and he said I am only dialated to a 1 1/2cm and I'm 50% efaced. He had already made an appt for me to be induced tomorrow morning. I told him I really wanted to vote, so that wouldn't work. So he moved it to the afternoon/evening. I didn't really want to do it and just want him to come on his own, but knew that it was the best for all of us. I knew I would have Jason at the end of the week, due to the rainy weather. I knew it would be easier to plan for my family. And the timing is good for the fact it will give me some time before Thanksgiving Break when all of the kids will be home for the week. We came home and I quickly started cleaning like crazy. Of course I haven't gotten a whole lot done, but at least I've gotten the car seat and newborn clothes washed. Who cares about everyone elses clothes, right?
So I'm having a baby within the next 2 days! It's crazy! I've been so busy with the kids, my job at church, and just life, that I haven't really sat down and thought about it until today. It hit me though, and man am I nervous! I guess I usually am. But just the idea of the pain is not something I want to think about Or the idea of bringing my brand new baby home to a very disorganized crazy household scares me. I'm usually so excited.... but I think I just don't feel ready, so I feel more overwhelmed than anything. And I guess since I had post partum depression after Ezra, that kinda scares me too. And my kids are all coughing and I kinda have a sore throat too, I don't want the baby getting sick. But it's all good. And I know it will be all good!! And I can't wait to hold this new little baby!
It's my last night with Ezra alone, so I'm just holding him, and snuggling with him, and rocking him and singing to him our song Hourglass by Mindy Gledhill. He knows the baby is coming, but has no clue what that means exactly. Hopefully he'll adjust just as well as all the other kids did with each baby.
BTW.... we haven't totally decided on a name yet. We have some ideas, and pretty much know what name we'll choose, but we're not totally sure yet. I'm not a big fan of the name, but I feel better about it than the other's we've come up with. I'll announce it once he's born. So stay tuned! :-)
Au revoir mes amies!
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